Shams and I could not have been more different. Her environment is different from mine, and her upbringing is different from mine. Even her character is different from mine. She does not resemble me in anything except pain. We walked the same path of pain. We felt the same feelings, we were in pain, we hoped, we were frustrated, we despaired, we were weak, we resisted and then we came back. So I was with her as I was, without any retaliation or any warnings. With her, I did not need to explain my condition, justify my weakness, or give excuses to change my mood. With her, I did not have to beautify myself, hide my flaws, or pretend to be different from my current state. With her, I was fatalistic, which I hate.